Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
