she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
