So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
