Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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