Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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