see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
