In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
