yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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