the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
