i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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