i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
