every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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