found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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