My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
