So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he fucked my hip out of place.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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