I'm so fucking centered right now
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize