people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
