I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
