Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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