My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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