one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize