Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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