his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
