i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We just shotgunned beers for America
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
