absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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