Kiss
Puke
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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