Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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