ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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