Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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