Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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