I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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