Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
