i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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