I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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