go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
