$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
