You can't motorboat a personality
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize