got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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