thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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