Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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