did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
