Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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