yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
