"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
