His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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