oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
