First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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