I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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