Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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