I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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