9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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