and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
