I think im going to throw up on grandma
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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