He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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