i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
