My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is my gift to your gina
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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