singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize