I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
