I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
